Being brave can stink, make you feel like the life is sucked of you, and make you fall numerous times. This was my experience with HOT YOGA. However, after I was able to peel myself off the wet floor, I walked out the studio leaving the negativity, comparison, and self judgement in what seemed like a gallon of my own sweat on the floor.
Recently I have been on a path of self-discovery, self-care, and kicking out toxic routines I put myself through regularly. I am not a big fan of saunas to do a body detox; and recently felt the urge to try something new so I signed up for a hot yoga class at my local yoga pod. I walked in very nervous because this was the first yoga experience from my ski accident, and since I just turned 23 I was afraid I may break a hip. I tried to get a spot by the door thinking that if it was “that bad” I could exit and go fill my shame with a Taco Bell Quesadilla.
As the class started, the instructor had us lay on our backs and prepare our minds. As I look up little did I know I picked the spot RIGHT UNDER THE HEATER which was going to make the studio 105 degrees with 60% humidity. To top off this event with more “Jessica awkwardness” this class was full of yogi masters, and I was sweating when we were laying on our backs.
God Bless the instructor because it was as if I had a private yoga lesson and everyone else was just eavesdropping. He ended up teaching the class from my mat because it was more convenient than walking from the front of the studio to the back—which this totally ruined my Taco Bell infused Plan B. As soon as the instructor fixed my feet on our breathing exercises I felt this blanket of shame, embarrassment, and I was wanting to leave because I was not a yogi prodigy.
I then remembered a book recently recommended called “Warrior Goddess Training”. A line came into my brain talking about being committed to ourselves. We must be fully committed to attaining our power through loyalty to ourselves, love to our WHOLE self, and being authentically the way God created us. I then promised myself I would embrace the awkwardness, excessive perspiration, and let the physical detoxification be a mental one as well.
After I had this 180 flip of perception, the instructor had us transition to the Warrior pose. I am not sure if it was the lights catching the sweat flowing out of me like Niagara Falls, or my new sense of self but I was gleaming from the inside out. I fell down on a majority of the poses but walked out feeling like my own type of yogi master.
Being brave can feel terrible, it can fill our minds full of fear, self-doubt, and maybe even self-hate. Being brave can make us feel inadequate; but I have good news. After we are brave, we are unstoppable and that is because God makes us brave. He makes all things glorious and He has made us and HE LOVES US! Our biggest obstacle can be our own self, and it can be so hard to be brave…trust me I know. But being brave starts with a foundation of faith, and knowing that God is on our team and even if we have challenges—our doubt, fear, anger—he is with us through and through forever. Being brave can be hard, but we are the daughter of the King and our hearts are full of warrior-like bravery!
***The outfit is our Crossroads White Blouse and Dear Johns skinny jeans